Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize