Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
