there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
