Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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