I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
