Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
