my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
