Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
