Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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