So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
