I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
