I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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