Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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