bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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