Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Mom said you looked used
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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