4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
