i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
