Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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