wake up i wanna do it froggy style
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
