Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
