Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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