we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
