I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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