I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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