I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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