i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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