I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize