yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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