I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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