you didnt know i had herpes?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
