and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
