So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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