Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize