i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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