Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You can't just leave with hair like that
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
