It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
