I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize