I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
