i jhust puked up my retainher.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
