Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
