We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
worst night to have a conscience
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
