I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
