It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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