his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize