Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
