the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
