Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need a beard to bite.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
