i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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