everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
