After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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