i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
