He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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