You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
