she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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