you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize