Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize