good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
