you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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