girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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