Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
