What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just found puke in my bra..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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