Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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