i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
