blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
