I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
there was a trapeze. enough said
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
