Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
