Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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