What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
