went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
