I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
