i just google imaged poop.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
