5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
